You may be the one with commitment issues or the other partner. It’s essential to understand what commitment issues are and how to overcome them.
Commitment issues: Definition
Commitment issues came from the term commitment. Commitment, as a general term, means an obligation to fulfill one’s responsibilities. Commitment isn’t just used in relationships, but for legal matters too like contracts.
In a relationship setting, commitment is defined as an obligation to another person. While fear of commitments is characterized by individuals swinging away from relationships. Commitment issues may look like rejecting an offer to invest more in a relationship, like moving forward to marriage. But the truth is, an individual may actually like the idea of long-term relationships but their fear of commitment gets in the way.
It’s also known as commitment phobia. If this is the case, therapies and counseling sessions can address issues that cause fear of commitments, like women’s counseling, emotion management, or pre-marital counseling.
What causes fear of commitments?
Commitment issues may come from a variety of choices. It may be from a single traumatic event, like previous abusive relationships, childhood stress, or a sequence of small events.
- Marital problems at home
They say that education begins at home, so are the lessons instilled in a child. If the individual’s upbringing is exposed to marital problems, it may have an effect on the child’s relationship with other people.
- Media portrayal
What we see online has an impact on our relationships. If you constantly watch shows that emphasize infidelity, then you might develop a fear of engaging in a monogamous relationship because of third parties.
- Traumatic previous relationships
When someone you love, hurts you, it can develop trust issues or not letting anyone get close to you again. The stem of fear of commitments comes from abusive or unfaithful partners. So let’s be mindful of who we get on the bed with.
Commitment issues in relationships
Commitment issues are mostly projected in relationships. Being with someone with commitment issues can be tough. If your partner has commitment issues, it’s normal for them to be untrustful that may later leave you confused.
Now, how to date someone with commitment issues?
Breaking up with them is an option. But you have to understand that these issues are no walk in the park. You can be the partner that has to help them overcome their commitment issues or leave them building more walls.
Here’s how you can deal with a partner that has commitment issues:
- Understand their space
Your partner may have to ask for space from time to time. They’re not distancing from you. Rather, they’re just taking the time to absorb things. Don’t ever try to pressure your partner from doing things against their will.
- Try to be patient
If you make an effort to be patient, they’ll appreciate it. It may take some time, but if they see that you’re working to understand their needs, they’ll want to work on the relationship.
- Be honest, at all times
Your partner has commitment issues and is scared, don’t try to add to the burden and lie to them. Be honest at all times. Your transparency will make them want to invest in your relationship more.
- Seek professional guidance
There’s nothing wrong with asking for assistance. Fear of commitments can be difficult to deal with. Having an experienced counselor may be the course of action.
Dealing with commitment issues
Overcoming commitment issues isn’t any small feat. The solution is to act on it, not to always resort to running away. The fear of commitments won’t solve their own problems, you need to be bigger than them.
Instead of being a victim of commitment issues, be the architect of resolving issues.
If you wish to improve your fear of commitments, you may:
- Acknowledge it
The first step to improving is, to be honest with yourself. You can’t cure what you don’t want to recognize. It can be helpful to talk to a professional and to learn some of your experiences.
Speaking to a specialist with your partner may help you understand what holds you up and how to overcome your barrier when it’s right for you if your relationship is existing and you struggle to commit yourself to a higher level or next step, such as moving together or marrying.
- Commit to other things outside of the relationship
A person in a romantic relationship may also struggle with a commitment like at work, school, or family and friends. Keep in mind what you feel about these situations. Then, commit to something in those areas!
One’s fear of commitments can be dealt with through therapy or counseling. An experienced therapist can help uncover past and recurring issues that may be associated with one’s fear of commitments, especially if it leads to depression or anxiety.
Couples counseling may also be an option when the other partner experiences fear of commitments. During this session, you’ll learn how to communicate more effectively, discuss partner expectations, and future decisions that may affect the relationship.
Overcome commitment issues at Impact Vision
To reach experienced relationship experts is often the best way to deal with relationship problems. Our Christian counselors are using effective methods and techniques to help people face personal and relationship challenges.
Overcome your fear of commitment today!
Impact Family is a Christian Counseling Nonprofit Organization located in Pembroke Pines, Florida, a few miles north of Miami. As a Christ-Centered, Bible-Based, Non-Denominational Ministry, we believe God in His Grace wants to forgive, heal, and bless us more than we want it for ourselves. Our team of Christian counselors is ready to assist you. Book an online appointment today!